The Imposters Compass
My son is turning two, which means I’m turning two too.
Being responsible for the livelihood of a young human being from one day to another definitely made me feel like an imposter. Although processing those feelings took some time, the same question lingers for my wife and I—”Who are we to have such a responsibility?”
In the early days, I remember getting one piece of advice from a veteran parent and good friend, who said, “Trust your instincts. Everyone will tell you what they think is best, but only YOU will know what’s best for you and your family.” It felt like a riddle that actually required me to put in more work and learn how to listen to my instincts—and when not to.
Discomfort Zones
Part of the reason why I made the shift into video production and storytelling in my work was because I wanted to live a different kind of life and actually spend more time with my family. Traveling back and forth to San Francisco (as I did for Aclima) or working the long hours with architecture design studios felt incompatible with my personal goals. Taking care of myself was also becoming more important and critical.
Working for myself was good for flexibility, but in the beginning there was a lot of uncertainty and discomfort built into running my own production company. Deciding to serve the nonprofit community only added to my imposter syndrome. Although my startup Aclima was mission-driven at heart, it was still a technology company embedded in a completely different kind of culture. I’ve also never worked in a nonprofit before.
It took some time and testing before I discovered that my non-expertise in the nonprofit sector was actually an advantage. Imposters have one of the most valuable assets—an outside perspective. And ultimately, my ignorance motivates me to learn more and grow everyday.
Imposters have one of the most valuable assets—an outside perspective.
Jeff is a Lyft driver in San Diego and I wanted to ask for advice on imposter syndrome since I was preparing to speak at a conference…
Meaning And Responsibility
If you don’t feel like an imposter, you either aren’t pushing yourself past your comfort zone or you aren’t doing anything that matters.
I knew very little about being a father or being the owner of a video production company. Whether it was learning how to keep my cool under pressure, burn the midnight oil or heat the midnight milk, adapting to these experiences have helped make me who I am today.
“Adopt responsibility for your own well-being, try to put your family together, try to serve your community, try to seek for eternal truth... That's the sort of thing that can ground you in your life, enough so that you can withstand the difficulty of life.”
—Jordan Peterson
A Navigation Problem
Imposters syndrome is a compass. The feeling of butterflies in my stomach before the birth of my son, during a big speech, or after an important video shoot—these are signals my body is sending to my lizard brain— compelling me to take flight, to run the towards the safety of the status quo.
The butterflies never really go away and in order to get through the nervousness I recommend you feign confusion, try to misinterpret these signals as excitement instead of fear.
Pause for a moment and ask the butterflies, “Where to next!?!”
-Reuben